Some people think infertility is just about not having the ability to get pregnant. It is about so much more than that! Society teaches us that women as a rule get married, get a house and then get pregnant. For me: get married –check- get a house -check- get pregnant---not so much. It is difficult not to be pressured when it is not your fault it is the body you were given. Ok there certainly ARE worse things in the world. However, being surrounded by others having babies is not easy. Baby showers are THE WORST (even if it is your best friend)! You are sooo happy for them and want to share in their joy but that is just it...Their joy. So you are sitting through this ritual, a sort of right of passage, that you know you will never have. In some cases it is worse for my husband and I because we both have low vision and want to adopt and NOT give birth to a child naturally. You would be surprised how many people DON’T want us to adopt or say they will help us and then let us down in the end. Say what you want, say what you will, but "Oh it is meant to be" or "oh your time will come". Should we really believe that? In some cases even the family isn’t on board with the process.
I promised that this blog would not be depressing so here goes. When we first started this process there were not many resources out there. At this point there are so many resources it can actually be overwhelming. So for all you couples out there struggling, there is even an entire language around infertility. You will need a cheat sheet. The money is an important issue. My two pieces of advise get a job that pays for infertility or live in a state that mandates infertility coverage. There are tax incentives, social networking support websites, local support groups and of course ME your friend in fighting for what you desire.
Listed below are some websites to explore.
I personally find it easier to cope if I have a really good friend I can cry with!
The National Infertility Association
http://www.resolve.org/
The Language of Infertility (this looks like an ad but keep scrolling)
http://pregnancy.families.com/blog/understanding-the-language-of-infertility
Adoption Support Website
http://www.adopting.org/adoptions/adoption-support-groups.html
Children waiting to be adopted Nationwide
http://www.adoptuskids.org/
Living Childfree
http://www.inspire.com/groups/finding-a-resolution-for-infertility/topics/living-childfree/
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